Having read up through the thirtieth part, this seems a fair enough place to critique.

Up to this point, the story had been quite intriguing. At the risk of sounding like I'm oversimplifying a setting, this type of piece is not something I would have expected to see set in the Felarya universe. For those who have some familiarty with the world, the impact of having a grove where the inhabitants have found a "loophole," even changed the laws of the jungle, is interesting in itself. However, even those for whom the setting is new I think can easily become aquainted with the general atmosphere, for enough detail is given in the piece regarding the rest of the world.

Beyond this, the progression of the plot has been well crafted. Whether or not it was the authors intent, the effect upon the reader is that he or she first comes to the Bowl as a new arrival, as Shalandra did, and initially the perspective is Shalandra's exclusively. As those in the Bowl are all connected by Cypress's link, each idividual can experience the thoughts and experiences of others. Like one coming into the Bowl, as the reader becomes more "connected" to the Bowl, the more different perspectives he/she is treated to.

At times this can be confusing, but I think this is more do to this being a first draft than the format. Multiple plots can be difficult to follow, but I think this is only the case when there are large spans of time (weeks, months) between the uploading of sections. I was able to follow them fairly well with the parts posted thus far.

While a difficult task, upon reflection it seems as though having many points of view all happening at the same time seems more suited to the context of the story rather than just one. It allows the reader to be like Cypress, able to follow the happenings of those around her, even though the reader's perception becomes wider than hers. With further refinements, of course, this can be utilized to great effect, but even as it is proves to be a useful literary device.

The variety of characters featured is also a strong point of the work. While it may be difficult for some to be able to sympathize with the cast and their plights completely, and in several instances rationally so, the description is such that their emotional states, intentions, memories, and personalities carry over well. There are likeable aspects to all of them, and a variety of situations they experience as well. Further, as each character is featured, ever more of their pasts are revealed. Not all at once, of course, but enough to understand them. This has the benefit of not slowing down the stories overall pacing, and added mystery and suspense.

One of the weaknesses I've noticed is that, by part 30, only Jhon and Kahla are really described in depth. Though there are many other characters, their backgrounds and personalilites are less emphasized, though not glossed over by any means. It is certainly possible to infer from information given what they are like in more detail, but giving those like Gwen, Shalandra, and Jack more focus by now I think would have made things less confusing. The piece is by no means finished, and while I'm sure all the characters will be well developed by the end, it is still something to note.

Further, while in some respects having the multiple plots going at once, the lack so far of a clearly identifiable central plot can also be viewed as a weakness. By part thirty, I cannot really identify the central focus of the piece, or the direction it is headed. To be a captivating tale, I believe it important to establish a goal, even if vague, somewhat early in a piece to intice readers to read on. I realize this is a draft, but it is something to keep in mind.

Thus far, the way the author seems to be approaching Cypress is not the same as with other characters. She is a character in the story, but as was mentioned earlier, serves as a sort of symbolic figure for the multiple plotlines that have been presented. As a dryad, she seems firmly planted in the Grove with connnections to all the other characters, and is more of a general presence, in a literary sense, than a more tangilbe character. In a sense, one might call her an indirect character, and to a large degree one a reader can likely relate to well. She is aware, for the most part, of the happenings of her people, as is the reader, is (apparently) planted in one spot and not as physically active a participant in the events, but is non-physically active, as the reader is. Again, I'm not sure if this was the intention of the author, but the way her character has been presented, in the way the Bowl has been so far envisioned, this is certainly a possible way to present her. I make a point about this because it is a rather unique way of approaching a character, one I've certainly not done, and haven't seen done really in other literature.

Albeit a little hard to describe, it seems as though Cypress's experience is that of the reader's, and the reader very much like Cypress, such that one can understand her character more than any other without actually needing to be told all that much about her. Were the author to treat her in that manner, in addition to the approach used initially with plots, first one, then more as the reader becomes more integrated to the setting, as a new arrival does to the bowl, and keep the descriptive manner of prose in place, the end result would be a very complex, multi-layered, and truly engaging story.

Grammatical errors are replete though, and even though this is a draft, they are replete throughout the parts, enough that it often breaks the flow of reading. Careful editing is needed for this to have the langauge necessary for a truly appealing piece of writing.

There are times when scenes could be better described, but for the the most part I would say one could understand and picture the events of any given section. While it is theoretically acceptable to keep things open, and allow the reader to picture the people, places, and things in their own way, I personally like it when authors describe things with fairly good clarity. Sometimes even adding little specific details, such as the actaul height of someone, or the length of their hair, can add a lot to the image being presented.

'The Jungle Bowl' is so far becoming a great piece of fantasy writing. In all fankness, I have not thought of Felarya as much more than what one might call a 'fetish world,' and that being the case have not probed too deeply into it. However, it is a piece of writing such as this that warrants a second look at the setting at large, and truly can appeal to a broad audience, even if one is not particulary interested in the subject matter.

This piece has much potential to it, and it has much yet to be revealed. Though at times unclear, there are enough emotional tensions and well place cliffhangars to make this an enjoyable read. Those interested in discovering more should begin from part one, and prepare for a very interesting journey.